The Specially Administrated Zone of Justice
by xxstarsnowxx
Summary: James Bond, the MI6 agent known also as 007, has been on many missions and seen many battles. He has fought hand to hand on the ground, had epic car race shootouts, driven a boat into combat, flown a plane and helicopter, skiied through explosions, fought on sinking buildings (not to mention submarines), and even driven a tank. But how will he fare with the knightmare frame?


**Never thought my latest story would turn out to be this crack fic... Enjoy!**

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Only a few weeks had passed since the passing of M. in James Bond's Skyfall mission. The spy had not yet completely come to terms with her death, and was passing the time in his usual fashion: drinking and gambling.

After a late night at his favorite casino, he was stumbling on home to his flat when he noted out of the corner of his eye, a very suspicious looking set of stairs that descended to who-knows-where.

Bond blinked, clearing his vision, and frowned upon realizing that these stairs definitely had not been there just a day ago. Now knowing that something strange was going on in his neighborhood, Bond hurried back to his flat to retrieve his weapon of choice: currently the Walther PPK, and drank a cold cup of coffee to clear the worst of his semi-drunkenness. He then walked as unsuspiciously as possible back to the place where he had seen the stairs in the dark alley.

The stairs were still there, so it must not have been his complete imagination. Reaching under his coat to feel for his weapon, Bond descended the steps with caution, not knowing what to expect.

At the end of the stairs stood a door with the words 'The Crusty Geass' on it. _Is this some kind of bar?_ Bond thought to himself. Slowly and silently pushing the door open, he peeked in.

The bar was empty.

Bond walked calmly in and sat by the counter. Now was as good a time for another drink, as it seemed he had not had enough to drink earlier if he was in the mood for slipping around in his usual 007 demeanor. He looked at the menu, but wasn't really in the mood for food. One drink in particular stood out, though. "Magical martini?" he said out loud. There was no reason not to, as he was the only customer whole establishment. "What the hell is that?"

A few minutes later, a bar attendant finally appeared and asked for his order. "I'll have your 'magical martini', shaken not stirred," the MI6 agent requested.

The girl nodded and soon came back with his drink in hand. Bond slapped his payment on the counter. "Enjoy your magical experience," the girl replied dully, taking the money and disappearing in the back of the establishment once more.

Bond only had a split second to wonder _what the h-_ before he blacked out and his head slammed onto the bar counter.

Bond awoke in a grassy area. Warily getting up, silent as usual thanks to his training, he took a look at his surroundings: a few meters away was a concrete wall. The MI6 agent rushed over to take cover behind it. Damn, how had he gotten here? The last thing he remembered was drinking that martini. Wait, the magical martini! That had to be the reason he ended up in this unfamiliar place. But if he had been captured by the Russians or some other organization, why put him in here unbound and free to move about?

The spy peered over the wall and saw a girl on the ground in a very fancy dress. She was muttering to herself, "I must find the key to the Damocles. I must stop Lelouch!"

Bond figured she was important and hoisted himself over the wall, walking over to where she was lying on the ground. He saw an odd-looking piece of machinery and picked it up off the ground.

The girl seemed to have a very acute sense of hearing, but was unable to stand. Bond puzzled over the matter as the girl looked up with her eyes closed (honestly, why didn't she just open them and see who he was?). "Is that you, brother?" she asked in semi-terror. The key was not in her hand, but his after all.

"Charmed to meet you, miss, but I fear I have no siblings," Bond replied in his usual witty manner.

The girl looked startled. "Who are you?" she demanded. Honestly, it's like she thought she had control over the situation.

"The name's Bond. James Bond." When the girl did not reply, he asked, "Who are you, young lady?"

"Princess Nunnally vi Britannia," came the reply.

"Sorry, never heard of you," the British spy quipped. "Is this an asylum for the mentally insane?" He had never heard of a Britannia before, but it sounded like a variation of Britain. Perhaps the poor girl was out of her mind.

"No, I'm telling the truth!" she shouted back. "And I'm not insane. Look around you, we are on my brother's Damocles. My half-brother," she amended, thinking of Lelouch.

"Large family gathering then?"

"Ugh!" the 'princess' was annoyed, Bond noted. Perhaps his sarcasm was not appreciated by her type. "Would you kindly give me the key lying on the floor somewhere around here?"

 _Ah, so the girl is blind,_ Bond came to realize. _And crippled too. Poor soul. But this 'key', it must be important if she wants it so badly._ Bond fortunately had a spare house key in his pocket. He must have left it there after getting the lock on his door replaced after an intruder busted it to get in. "Here, take it," he said, pressing the house key into her hand and walking down the stairs to the exit of the room.

"What?!" the girl screeched. Bond chuckled. He had no idea what was going on, but glancing out the window he noted how high up they were. Had he been transported into the future by the martini? Or was this some other world with more complicated technology than all the governments of his own Earth combined? Well, soon he would find out. Slipping the Damocles key into his pocket and holding his Walther PPK lightly, he advanced on silent tread from that room down some complicated hallways, eager to discover what exactly was going on in this flying ship.

Bond ran past many explosions and ducked behind weird humanoid mecha suits that he heard others call "nightmares". He understood why, they could give nightmares to anyone! Until he saw a sign and laughed at himself "Knightmares, ah, how punny," for the mecha suits looked like knights, some even had swords! Why, if he stole one of these and took it back to Q. he would finally give the man something other than grief – and destroyed gear – for once!

Bond hopped into an open frame and hacked the system easily. "I guess even in this land there is still software problems," he noted as he launched the system and got used to the controls. Soon he was zooming down the halls. No one paid him any attention, thinking he was one of their own men. The perfect cover, as opposed to running around on foot and being called out.

Inside the Damocles, Bond soon discovered another craft and took out the guards surrounding it, who had red rims around their eyes for who-knew-what reason. But surely this was a lead! He took them out without killing – something he had been working on as per M.'s orders. With the push of a button he launched a grappling hook of sorts from his knightmare and pried open the back door of the craft in near-silence.

Inside, a young blond, important-looking man was talking to a purple-eyed, black-haired boy on what appeared to be a video chat screen. The conversationalists and those in the room with them were so intent on the screen, they did not notice Bond in his giant knightmare looking in at them. Or the fact that behind him, the very subject they were "chatting" with was approaching with stealth. But Bond noticed.

"Lelouch, you're contradicting yourself. You who continually deny the will of others are standing here before us affirming the will of humanity." Second Prince Schneizel el Britannia lowered his head, speaking to the Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire aboard his getaway craft. "That's enough. Kill me now and be done with it. But, a F.L.E.I.J.A. will still decimate you. We will gladly give our lives to bring peace to the world."

The video screen stopped. "Did it lock up?" Schneizel mused. Perhaps his men had taken control of the computer system at last and locked his half-brother out. He turned to speak with his companions, but was stopped by the sight of a knightmare holding the emperor in one hand and pointing the other hand at him.

"You there in the white. Explain to me exactly what is going on," Bond called out over the intercom system.

Schneizel opened his mouth to reply but Bond beat him to the punch. "What I surmise is this: you own this ship, called Damocles, but this guy here – now he pointed at Lelouch – wants to use your ship to go to the moon."

The Second Prince stood in shock before replying. "No no, man, you've got it all wrong. Lelouch wants to take over the world."

"Well then, why is this ship going straight up?" Bond was convinced he was right. What else could the plan be?

Lelouch seized the idea immediately. "Yes, yes, I will take the moon! You can have your peace on earth, Schneizel, I will take the moon!" He jumped out of Bond's knightmare's grasp and punched some buttons to skyrocket the Damocles to the moon.

"Are you mad?" cried Schneizel. "We can't all survive in space!" He began preparing the escape craft for launching. "Everyone evacuate, take any measure necessary! I've lowered the Blaze Luminous," the prince spoke over the intercom.

Everyone obeyed. Suzaku and Kallen paused their fight in the air. Kallen yelled in anguish at the missed opportunity to finish off her rival, but grabbed the remains of the Tristan, with Gino still inside, and flew off. Suzaku headed the Lancelot up to find his majesty, and arrived on the scene just as Schneizel's escape craft was exiting. There were only Lelouch, himself, and another strange knightmare left as the entire Damocles rocketed upward toward the moon.

"Lelouch, your majesty, is this friend or foe?" the Knight of Zero asked the Emperor of the other knightmare remaining onboard.

"Uncertain, Suzaku," Lelouch answered. "Though, he is the one who gave me my latest plan."

"And that is?" Suzaku trailed off, about to disembark his knightmare.

"I will rule over the moon!" Lelouch laughed madly. "That, Suzaku, will be the new Zero Requiem. On the moon, my geass will not harm a soul save the two of us, who are already tainted by its power. With the supplies onboard the Damocles, we will happiliy live out the rest of our lives here while brother Schneizel fixes life on this Earth."

Suzaku scratched his head. "And this guy here gave you the idea?" At this speed, they would soon reach the moon.

A few more minutes of banter later, a jolt ran through the entire system of the Damocles. It had finally touched down by grinding its upper structure into the moon. Lelouch swept one arm out grandly, proclaiming the moon his new domain. Suzaku was still uncertain about the whole matter, but it wasn't like geass would run wild up here on the moon. Still, there was the matter of the stranger in the other knightmare.

"You, what do you want? And why would you willingly trap yourself on the moon?" the Knight of Zero asked.

"The name's Bond. James Bond. And I've always dreamt of going to the moon," the spy quipped back.

"Now that you know the secret of geass, you must live out your days here with us, then," Suzaku replied.

"Live on the moon? No way! I'll be going back down in a day or two," Bond told the two. "And you cannot stop me."

Lelouch glanced at his friend. "You know what to do," he told him. "My geass won't affect him from inside his knightmare. Take him out."

"Yes, your majesty!" Suzaku replied. "Lancelot, go!"

"Not so fast," Bond replied, quickly dodging the attack and launching a grappling hook at the Lancelot Albion. "Now I've got you!"

Unfortunately, Lancelot and its pilot had him. Tugging the grappler, Suzaku pulled the mysterious James guy toward himself. "Energy wings!" The green energy from the Lancelot tore the grappling system out of Bond's knightmare.

"Damn it," the spy muttered, pressing buttons at random at this point. Despite being able to pilot every imaginable system on his own planet, including but not limited to cars, vans, trucks, construction equipment, various planes, helicopters, boats, ships, and even tanks, he still had trouble working with this otherworldy knightmare. Clearly his opponent was one skilled in knightmare combat and with superior specs to him. Still, he had to keep fighting. The drive to survive pushed him on.

After a few more minutes, when it was clear his knight was merely toying with the other man, Lelouch gave the order: "Finish this now, Suzaku. We have a new ruler on the moon and the work is plenty."

Suzaku rolled his eyes but obeyed. "Farewell, James Bond." He drove the Lancelot's sword deep into the heart of the piloting seat of the knightmare and sliced it apart. But upon further investigation, the cockpit was empty. "What? Did he not exist?"

Lelouch gave a delicate shrug. "Does it matter? He is clearly no more, and we are free to rule over the moon as we wish."

"Yes, let us call our new domain the Specially Administrated Zone of Justice, in honor of Euphie," Suzaku said with a sad smile.

"As you wish, friend," Lelouch replied, patting his friend on the back.

*On the Actual Earth*

"All hail His Majesty, the 100th Emperor of the Holy Britannian Empire, Schneizel el Britannia!"

"All hail Britannia! All hail Britannia!"

A few months after Lelouch and Suzaku blasted off the moon along with the random James Bond guy, Schneizel had taken control rather easily of Lelouch's abandoned empire. Now, at his second official speech following his coronation a few weeks earlier, he had a few things to go over. Out in the audience he saw Gino and Anya, the only remaining Knights of the Round, sitting front row on his left and his fellow siblings sitting front row to his right.

"Fellow Britannians, as your new Emperor, I wish to bring peace. As the remains of the Chinese Federation and the European Union piece themselves together, I have given them my word that our nation will not attack them or provoke any kind of attack on ourselves. Peace is all that I wish for." Schneizel looked out at the audience. "As for our areas, they will be given freedom to reclaim the nationalities my father stole from them; no longer will they be assigned numbers-"

And up on the moon, Lelouch smiled.

"Sir. Sir?"

Bond's muddled consciousness returned to reality. "What?"

"The bar is now closed," the girl told him.

"Oh, pardon me. I'll be on my way." Bond got up and walked out of the bar. He climbed the stairs and looked back down the path he had come from. 'The Crusty Geass' sign glowed faintly. "What a strange dream," the agent muttered. Then he looked in his pocket and saw that he still had the Damocles key. "Huh. Seems it was no dream after all. What an odd world."

The next time he passed by that area, the dark staircase and 'The Crusty Geass' were no more.


End file.
